ericoverland

A lot has been said recently in the news about Target, South Carolina and the topic of bathrooms. Who should we really have the issue with? Our society loves to point the finger at someone, but is it possible that grandma was right all along? Is it possible that as we point our finger at this person, that person or those people that we must remember that as we blame, there are three fingers pointing back at us?

I remember the summer before my senior year of college I was working on a construction crew. We built some home additions, but the primary area of our work was in agriculture and building sheds and pole barns. I’ve always enjoyed framing work like that as opposed to the intricacies that finishing work requires.

When I started out, I did not know any of my co-workers or anything about any of them; nor did any of them know who I was. All they knew about me was that I was “Brandon’s roommate.” Brandon and I had been friends for a couple of years and roommates for the last couple of months. Brandon was not shy (and on the flip side, I’ve never seen him pushy) about his faith in God. As a result, that was one of the first things they asked me when I started; if I too was a Christian. I said yes and was quickly put into a box. They were not too interested in getting to know me. I can’t blame them too much. They didn’t know too much about what being a Christian meant. Their opinion was based on past experiences and what they saw and heard in the media; and unfortunately, Brandon did not work with them long enough for them to get to know him and how good of a guy he really was.

Lest you think that this is all about how they put me in a box and how I’m a perfect little angel in all of this; you must know two things: 1) I am not a perfect angel; 2) I was very tempted to quit and just move on to something different, but I am glad that I did not.

Naturally, you cannot spend 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week with a group of guys and not get to know each other a little. Although things started off a little rocky, they eventually came around. For those that are looking for a story of Christian revival where by the end of the summer everyone was praising Jesus, you won’t find it here. No one changed their religion. In fact, one of my co-workers was the self-proclaimed son of evil.

So why do I tell this whole story? What does it have to do with Target and bathrooms? I don’t totally remember what exactly it was that happened early in the summer, or who it was that gave me the advice that I am about to share with you, but I believe this is what made the summer not only bearable, but also very enjoyable for all parties involved. A friend of mine said to me “don’t expect people who don’t claim Jesus as Lord to live by Christian values.” So I didn’t. They lived and spoke of their lifestyles and were curious of mine. A lot of great conversation happened; and to the joy of our boss Dave, a lot of work got done as well!

So, here we are. Target allows people to use the bathroom of their choice. Ok. Let’s take this one step at a time. Christians, don’t expect people who don’t profess Christ as Lord to live and act like it. You won’t be able to hold them to Christian values. Target, listen to the frustrations of your consumers. No one can tell you that you shouldn’t make a decision based on pop culture. Go ahead, that’s fine.

Now, here is the problem people. Everyone is spending so much time pointing their finger this way and that way, but no one seems to be offering much of a solution. Here are my thoughts:

1. Target makes no changes. Anyone can use any bathroom they want.
   1. Target loses some business because some people choose not to shop there to either:
      1. Make a political stand
      2. Make a religious stand
         1.  Result:
            1. Target loses money
   2. Target loses some business not because of the aforementioned, but because some people fear the small percentage chance that themselves or a loved one is hurt by someone that perverts the purpose behind making a genderless bathroom.
      1. Result:
         1. Target loses money
   3. Target switches back
      1. 1. They lose some business because some people choose not to shop there to either:
            1. Make a political stand
            2. Make a religious stand
               1. Result:
                  1. Target loses money
         2. Target switches back, but has a third bathroom that can be used by either gender (examples: family bathroom, transgender bathroom, etc)
            1. 1. Someone will still whine. Let’s be honest, if you’re looking for a whine free world, you’re going to be searching for quite a while.
                  1. Result:
                     1. Target loses money, but not as much as the two previous scenarios
   4. Other
      1. I’m sure there are other possible solutions out there.

Here is one of the most important business lessons that was taught to me by a business mentor of mine. The greatest purpose in business is to make money. How you go about it may differ, but the reality is that if a business is not making money, they will not survive. Target must choose the scenario that best falls in line with their purposes and passions; society will choose with their wallets if they made the right choice.

Before we get back to the original point of this blog, let’s be clear, this is not a Target vs. Christianity or a Target vs. religion problem. The upset peoples are of all races, religions and creeds.

Here is the crux of the matter, be cautious of the pointing of fingers because you will not turn someone to your way of thinking by pointing a shaming or condemning finger at them.  All you’re doing by pointing fingers at someone is pointing three back at the problem. You. Remember, you will never change someone’s mind by pointing a shaming or condemning finger at them. Think about it, how many times has a person called you an idiot and you’ve changed? Outside of your close circle of friends…probably zero.

If you want someone to change their way of thinking, offer a suitable solution, be a part of a dialogue that creates a solution, or live a life that exemplifies love; and if we’re being honest, probably do all three. Be very leery of associating yourself with whiners, condemners and complainers. Or you will become a whiny, condemning complainer and will most likely live a life filled with hate.